It’s been close to five weeks. I can’t even remember when the last time was, except you didn’t appear to care or enjoy.
I’m frustrated. Really frustrated.
You didn’t bother trying to make that sacrifice for my birthday. The one day where I am justified in being selfish.
You don’t even care when I try every night.
I don’t know how I lost my touch, but I’ll be dammed if I keep feeling that it’s all my fault.
Yes I got lazy, but in my eyes, you’re the lazy one now.
We didn’t used to have to wait for your nightly routine or you didn’t mind morning breath. But somehow that mattered now.
Up until recently I wake up and feel more connected and more attached. Nowadays I just wake up and feel like I’m drifting further and further away. I’ll be there for you at the end of the day but I can’t be sure if I would be happy about it.
Just give it up already. Dammit.
So this may possibly be the best birthday weekend I’ve ever had. Really. All thanks for my amazing boyfriend.
First off, he surprised me with Vkim! Birthday truce, you win Joe!
Thursday, we just ate alot of sandwiches. Dance practice until midnight. Hung out with Alise, Alexis, Schq, Vkim, and Joe.
Friday, first real personal day off! Ate more sandwiches and hung out around until practice. Stayed until 12:30. Arrived at Cobalt at 1am. Cobalt is losing their luster, what happened to the hip hop?! You were my bastion of good music in DC.
Double fisted Long Islands and drank wayyyy too much and way too fast. Nice person picked up my wallet and returned it. Went to Ducchinis and took random pictures with random strangers.
Threw up twice.
Saturday, show day. Ate Saigon Saigon and hung out with Vkim until time to go to UMD. People watching at Starbucks is an interesting event. Ate more at IKEA. Got the jitters being on stage. It’s been two years since I’ve performed something on stage like this.
Ate Black and Orange after the show. Underwhelming.
Sunday, workout day. Time to burn off the fat I accumulated for my weekend.
You’re the best I’ve ever had and I want to be the best you deserve. I’m always thinking of ways to make you happier, the only concern is if I can pull it off.
Frustrated. Really frustrated.
What a sad way to close my birthday weekend.
Just finished my first DC dance video shoot. Can’t believe how much I’ve grown since I’ve been here.
Running on so little sleep. Never again.
SO.MUCH.WORK. Is this what the real world is like? It’s like constant exams except you get paid and you can’t mess up.
I’ve been eating out way too much.
And I need to get a gym membership
Everytime I eat sandwiches and watch Grey’s Anatomy, it’s like a feels trip all the time.
Here’s to crossing my fingers for booking an appointment with Pietro Sedda
The first person I see every morning and the last person I see every night. That is what I work towards.